Yes, I just invented a new word. I can do that. My mom said so.
Life is like a box of chocolates - it's either nutty or all gooey in the center. Or, I guess it could be a really hard toffee center that breaks your teeth. Don't laugh - it happened to me. Okay, go ahead and laugh. Anyway, in my case, life's been both gooey and nutty lately.
It's funny how things that you absolutely don't want to have happen, can end up being so beneficial when they do. In my life, I have a history of hanging on to people who don't want to be hung on to. As the Captain and Tennille said, breaking up is hard to do. Or maybe it was AT&T. Actually, I don't have a clue who said it, and I'm too lazy to look it up. But the fact remains, whoever said it was right. Even when the 'breaking up' isn't a romantic relationship.
I used to take it personally. If someone doesn't want to be in my life, there must be some horrendous flaw in my character that they see, which makes them leave. But who I am is who I am, and if someone can't accept me, it's not worth fighting over. Another friend - one who didn't walk away - summed it up nicely for me: In this life, people come and go. This was just one who went. Her choice, her loss. Okay, we both lost. But the point is, I'm okay enough with myself now, to let go. It's ironic that that self-confidence started with her.
In other news...
One of the differences out here in the sticks, is how close everything hits to home. I mentioned that in my tornado entry a few weeks back, how everyone around here felt the impact of that in some way. On Tuesday, there was a fatal car accident nearby. Four teenagers, two dead, one who may not live out the night, and the driver, who was critically injured. It appears that drinking was involved, and it's one of those tragic stories that you watch on the news, and you shake your head and think how sad it all is, and you feel bad for the families, and you think how you're glad it's not your daughter, and you hold your loved ones a little closer, and you tell them to be careful, and you tell them you love them. Back in California, that would be the end of it. You would move on, and forget about it until the next accident, with some other strangers, and you'd, in a distant way, feel bad for them.
I didn't know Christina Keaton, who was to graduate tomorrow. But her brother is one of Jamie's best friends here in Tennessee, and a frequent visitor to our house. I see him trying to cope with a loss that is so irrational, and so completely without warning, and it tears my heart out. I know that with the love and support of so many around here, he will move on, and one day he will be okay. I hope it is soon.
Well. I really have nowhere to go after that. Take care, John.
